Monday, March 5, 2012

Background Info

  I have had problems/issues with food my entire life. However,  I did not have a weight problem until I was 30 years old. It was 1999, I was training for my 7th marathon. On Dec. 17th, my world came to a screeching halt.  I was waiting tables during the brunch shift.  I stepped onto a step ladder , to reach some canned juice, and somehow managed to step off of it into a drain hole that was missing its cover. The pain was immediate and crazy.  I could not walk and had to be carried out and placed into a car that was headed to the hospital. I felt broken from that moment on.

Upon further investigation, the Dr. informed me that I had ripped ALL of tendons and ligaments off my left ankle bone.  I would need surgery and a lot of therapy. ( Boy, was that an understatement )  I told him I was a runner.  He said " not anymore".  That hit me hard.  My life as I knew it was over in that instant.  I was miserable and found out that ice cream, among other foods, made me happy.  Or so I thought.  The weight came on very quick.  Within a month, I could not zip my pants.

I finally had surgery in April of 2000.  The work comp doctor fixed me up real good.  He boasted that he re-wrapped my tendons and ligaments so tight that I would never sprain that ankle again.  He also reminded me not to get excited about running.  It was just not going to be possible any more. There was limited movement now, and that could not handle the pounding of running. ( Oh, if he could see me now )

 Things went downhill from there.  Depression set in and I became a slave to pills.  Prescribed pills, mind you.  I had pills to wake up, pills to function, pills that made me zone out and I could forget my life, and pills to help me sleep.  On top of those pills, I was given OxyContin, for pain management. What a ride that was, well, what I can remember of it.  I ingested enough pain killers and antidepressants on a daily to kill a small horse.  By the grace of God I am still alive.

 I had been 128 pounds and ballooned to 220 pounds.  It took me six years to pull my head out of my ass.  I wasted six years of my life.   I am not going to sugar coat any of my journey.  It sucked.   It was hard.  At times, it hurt terribly, both physically and emotionally.   BUT, it was so worth it.   I did not follow any fad diets, take any pills or powders, no special potions, nor did I have to starve.   I am ready.... So, let's get this party started.

2 comments:

Kate said...

Some of this I knew, some is new to me, but that doctor's totally wrong assessment of your running future is why I never suggest to my kids' parents that the kids can't do something. Yes, their disabilities may limit them, but WE don't need to; rather, our job is to help them push back and/or overcome those limitations. Thank goodness you fought your way back and proved him wrong. I think you're awesome

Kitchen Goddess said...

Again, just affirming how much I dig you!
I got to 270 before I had my realization. So.many.wasted.years...
You are an amazing woman! Your family is so very lucky!