Friday, May 11, 2012

What It Looks Like

I started walking six years ago.  I weighed just over 200 pounds.  I chose to take my walks around my neighborhood in the middle of the day, when no one was home.  I was afraid of what it looked like.  Everything jiggled.  My body fat had a mind of its own, bouncing everywhere.  My butt resembled Jello and wiggled just like it. My belly swayed back and forth and up and down.  I felt terrible about my appearance and did not want anyone to see me.  I even walked in disguise, big clothes, hat, glasses. At times I wished I was invisible.

As the months passed I began not to care what it looked like, what I looked like to others while I exercised.  I had realized that I couldn't change what it looked like if I stayed on the couch, out of sight.  I mean, why did I care what my neighbors and strangers thought anyway.  I was out walking the streets for my health, not as their entertainment.

Fast forward six years....  I go for a run or a bike ride whenever I want.  I want my neighbors to see me. In fact, I wear a fluorescent green safety vest to make sure I am visible.  I am aware my neighbors/strangers watch me and I don't care.  Some of them remember that girl who started and what I used to look like.  Some of them have started to wave and smile at me and give me the thumbs up sign.

So, if you are worried about what it looks like, drop that as an excuse, it's lame.  Get your body moving.  I guarantee it will change your life.  The magic really does happen when you stop caring what it looks like and get out there.


Kate said...

When I was at the heaviest, I didn't want to go to the gym until I lost weight. Eventually I figured out how backwards that was and got myself there. Nothing will change til you do.

Jessica said...

I topped off the scale at 293, and now weighing in at 259. I know what you mean. When I first started I wanted to be invisible. I never told people how much I weighed(because they OBVIOUSLY couldn't tell I was almost 300lbs-- uh denial!!)
Now I change in the locker room at the gym, I do endurance events .. though I definitely come in last. LOL I'm always looking for a new challenge.

I've come to realize it doesn't matter what other people think of you when it comes to this weightloss thing.. what matters is what you think of yourself

Wendy Davis ( aka Sasha ) said...

Thanks for your comment Jessica and a high five for the weight loss. It's not easy, it's oddly comforting when you see that others have gone through the same struggles.

For me, endurance races are not about podiums, more about just being out there doing my thing. I feel blessed to be able to be out there trying, pushing myself one step further,digging deep, while learning about myself in the process.

Screw what other people think, this is your life. Live it loud and to the fullest. Be an inspiration to others or a hero to your kids. Be prepared to learn a lot about yourself on this journey. Some of it sucks. Feel it all.

I read some of your blog, good stuff. You get it. Health and happiness go hand in hand. Do not deny yourself either