Cancer Sucks

That being said, it is time for me to come clean.  My mother was diagnosed three years ago.  Her cancer was diagnosed early and dealt with quickly.  She told me before anyone else and swore me to secrecy.  My siblings would be told slowly over time. She wasn't sure how to tell them. - I am the oldest, I could handle it-  Within a week everyone knew.

I was pissed for a while.  Why would God give my 61 yr old mother cancer?  Give it to me, I am younger, I am stronger, I am healthier, etc... I could handle it. Her chemo seemed to take forever.  Telling her grand-kids why her hair fell out was easier than telling her grown children. ( the kids only asked a couple questions)  Fast forward to now, she is fine and passed her recent check-up with flying colors.  Turns out her biological mom was not so lucky.  My mom found out she was adopted after her bio-mom had already passed.  She had breast cancer.

I have not had an exam since 2009.  Tomorrow I have an appointment.  I am a little nervous.  I have an 85% chance of getting breast cancer.  Not easy to swallow.  I consider myself healthy.  I eat a vegetarian diet.  I exercise regularly and then some.  I do not smoke.  I have a lot going for me. However, I have two huge marks against me.  Honestly, I am afraid to go.  I don't want to know.  Then it came to me..... If I had cancer I would definitely kick its ass.  How can I kick its ass if I don't know I have it?