Mrs. Big Legs

When I was born I picture God telling the angels what he wants to give me.  He says, " give her blonde hair and blue eyes".  The angel attending to me was a little hard of hearing and thought God said " give her blonde hair and big thighs". Since the angel wasn't entirely sure what she heard, I ended up with blonde hair, blue eyes, and the big thighs.


 Being born in the "twiggy era", the 70's, was difficult for me.  I stuck out like a sore thumb out among all the "you can't be too thin" girls.  They all seemed to have these incredibly long, thin, lean legs. My mom used to say I had big legs because I was German. Well,  I don't want to be German then.

Twiggy 1970ish

In grade school I was referred to as the "girl with the big legs". I absolutely hated it and wished there was something I could do about it.  My legs set me apart from all the other girls. I couldn't wear the cute, slim fit jeans or skirts, hell, I still can't.   I was the butt of several jokes and was teased quite a bit.  However, it wasn't all bad.  I was one of the first kids picked for teams of kickball or dodgeball, so I can't complain about that. Having strong, sturdy legs allowed me to play an entire soccer game.  My legs landed me on the "A" track and cross country team in high school and I lettered my freshman year.  After I graduated I ran several marathons. See, it wasn't all bad.

Me, age 12

Even at my age, 43, I am still a little self-conscious about my thighs.   Most days we get along great, unless I am trying on jeans or dress pants, that is a nightmare. However... when I head out the door for a bike or a run, I have a lot of confidence that my big legs will serve me well. I just wish someone had told me when I was younger that my large legs would make me an amazing athlete, or something along those lines, but no one did.

I also wish I could be in a room with all of those who made fun of me and tell them what my big legs have helped me accomplish.  I would definitely mention that I crushed out over 200 miles of Kansas gravel, in less than a day.  I would tell them of the time I went mountain biking for 24 hours. Finally, I would tell them of a tough trail race I am doing this weekend and smile really big!  



Wendy

Faking It

I am going to let you in on a little secret.  I have not always been a very confident person.  It's something I have dealt with my whole life. My confidence level has gone through many phases over the years. Some good, some bad, some even worse.  I figured I would struggle with it from time to time, for the rest of my life and just deal with it. However, when I flipped my switch, that line of thinking had to go out the window, right along with the weight.

I would call it "My Fake It 'Til You Make it" phase. You may have heard the term before, it's a common catchphrase that means"that means to imitate confidence so that as the confidence produces success, it will generate real confidence".  Job seekers are advised to use this type of behavior, for lack of a better word.  I have been working hard to boost my own self-confidence and want to share my last experience with "faking it".

Pretend to be a super-hero

I started working out at a gym in September. As an outdoor exerciser, just the thought of walking in one had me uncomfortable.  I sat in the parking lot for a full ten minutes before I went in. I brought a lot of anxiety I wanted to get out, funny how just walking in was going to be hard for me.  I gave myself a pep talk, pushed my shoulders back, and held my head high as I walked through the door, looking like I belonged there. There was a bright spot, I did know someone, my son is my trainer.  The hour passed quickly as I focused on his face and what he was asking me to do.  I made it!  Now, I have to do it again in two days, and then over, and over, and over......  It has to get easier, right?

Each time I walked through those gym doors made it easier for the next time.  My plan of faking my confidence definitely paid off and within about 8 sessions I felt more relaxed and okay with being there.  By acting like I was comfortable in the gym, I became comfortable in the gym.  Crazy?  I think not.  Try it.

Step Out

 I stepped out of my comfort zone.  While scary, I am glad I did it.   Below is a video and a few pictures.  I think they speak for themselves.  I highly encourage YOU to step out of your box and try something new.  There is someone inside of you dying to get out.  Do something that is HARD.  Breathe HEAVY often.  The results will come and you will be amazed.  You will also be upset with yourself for not having done this sooner. I know I am kicking myself  for not trying this "gym/weight thing" sooner.

Effortlessly skipping bars

I was inspired

                                                  Second set of 3 @175lbs

I was afraid I couldn't do this

The bench was 32" off the floor

I landed every jump

Tire Flippin'




Step out of your box.  Do something different. Stop being so afraid to fail. If you fail, try again. Maybe you are not a natural.  

Results

The ladies at CDI Winghaven took excellent care of me.  Joan took my history and helped me relax.  A mammogram is very easy, quick and doesn't hurt at all.  My mind is all over the place and my heart is beating rapidly as I sign in.  I so do NOT want to be here.  I promised my husband I would go, after finding out that his friends wife was just diagnosed last week.  I had seen her about a month ago.  She did not look like she had breast cancer.  That's the thing though.  You may not look like you have it or experience any symptoms so, early detection is the key.

I entered the small room, locked up my stuff and immediately noticed Hershey's kisses in a bowl.  Nice touch.  Chocolate, just what I needed. I decided that I would have one for just for coming today and a second after the exam. I put on the top they provided and was lead to another room with a lot of hi-tech machines.  I just wanted to get in and out of here as soon as possible. The exam took less then four minutes.  Joan had the shots she needed and lead me back to the chocolate room.  I dressed, grabbed my kiss and left.  In the parking lot, I let Jim know I was done and heading home. He told me he loved me and thanks for going. (encouraging spouses are awesome)

The next day my phone rang, it was my doctor office with my results.  I let it ring four times, I felt frozen in time.  I was also driving, I never answer my phone while driving.  Exception made, the receptionist informed me that my girls were fine.  Whew.  I pulled into my driveway upon hanging up and cried.  I was fine.  What a relief.  My husband pulled up right after me, he is on the phone with his friend.  His wife is doing as well as can be expected, not yet knowing what her course of action is.  Jim reassures him that she will be fine.  I tell him I have my results.  I am fine.  Jim sports a huge smile and hugs me.  This was a very awkward moment for me.  I was celebrating being healthy with tears of joy while experiencing painful tears at the same time for my friend.

Knowledge is power. If you haven't been checked yet, JUST DO IT.  Fellas, strongly suggest that your lady gets hers done. Do not accept any excuse.  Make her appointment for her.  Take her to lunch afterwards. You know you wouldn't know what to do without her, so keep her healthy.

Live life loud,
Wendy

Cancer Sucks

That being said, it is time for me to come clean.  My mother was diagnosed three years ago.  Her cancer was diagnosed early and dealt with quickly.  She told me before anyone else and swore me to secrecy.  My siblings would be told slowly over time. She wasn't sure how to tell them. - I am the oldest, I could handle it-  Within a week everyone knew.

I was pissed for a while.  Why would God give my 61 yr old mother cancer?  Give it to me, I am younger, I am stronger, I am healthier, etc... I could handle it. Her chemo seemed to take forever.  Telling her grand-kids why her hair fell out was easier than telling her grown children. ( the kids only asked a couple questions)  Fast forward to now, she is fine and passed her recent check-up with flying colors.  Turns out her biological mom was not so lucky.  My mom found out she was adopted after her bio-mom had already passed.  She had breast cancer.

I have not had an exam since 2009.  Tomorrow I have an appointment.  I am a little nervous.  I have an 85% chance of getting breast cancer.  Not easy to swallow.  I consider myself healthy.  I eat a vegetarian diet.  I exercise regularly and then some.  I do not smoke.  I have a lot going for me. However, I have two huge marks against me.  Honestly, I am afraid to go.  I don't want to know.  Then it came to me..... If I had cancer I would definitely kick its ass.  How can I kick its ass if I don't know I have it?

 

EPIPHANY

I finally have a moment to breathe after a long day.  My day was jam packed with things that many find mundane and boring, especially when they find out there is NO pay, but nonetheless, those things needed to get done. As I sat on the deck pondering tomorrow, I had an epiphany of sorts and would like to share it with you.

   I have a part-time job now, a writing gig on the side, volunteer at the school, etc.... You get the idea.  I absolutely have to get several tasks done tomorrow, other items on the list are not so dire.  I was thinking of how I could rearrange my day in order to guarantee I could get the most important tasks off my list.  There was only one way I could achieve this goal.  Give up my one hour training session with my son.  Sure, I could miss one right?  Not a big deal, I am not training for anything, right?  I have another session scheduled later this week.  It will be alright, it's just one.

Earlier today

 My son handed me two 40 pound dumbbells.  One in each hand he wanted me to step up and down from a riser he built, 28 inches , then lowered to 20 inches off the ground. I performed it about three times and thought some awful thoughts knowing I had to do 12.  He was kidding me right?  The weight was very uncomfortable , uncomfortable to keep hoisting up and down. My knees were hurting, I was breathing hard.  He pointed out that the amount of weight I was carrying was very close to the amount of weight I had lost.  It took a couple more times up and down for me to get it. I felt as if  I was lugging my old self, my old body up and down that step.  How the hell did I carry all that extra weight?  Why did I carry that weight so long?  Then it hit me.....

I was too busy in my past to take care of myself.  I put everyone's needs before my own.  Above my own.  My mother taught me how to do that, really she did.  As a child I watched her give and give to everyone but herself.  She took care of everyone but herself.  She thought that was what she was supposed to do.  She was supposed to be a good wife and a good mother. At the expense of what though?  Of being herself and living her life?  I realized earlier in life than she did, that if you don't take care of yourself, you can't really take care of anyone else.

When you first say it, it sounds selfish.  Well, it did to me.  I started putting myself on my to do list.  whether its a quick run in the morning or a bike, I find time to do it.  Sometimes I multi-task, like getting groceries on the bike, or going to the bank and library.  No matter what, I do not take myself off the list.  I took myself off the list one time and it lasted years.  Do not waste years of your life. Cancelling one training appointment would not have set me off into a downward spiral.  However, it would have gone a against what I believe. I believe I am a better wife, mother, friend, and human because I take care of myself. There is no doubt about it.

Put yourself on your To Do list.  Whether it's to shop, run, bike, whatever your passion is.  You deserve to have a piece of your day.    

Move It Davis

It has been a long time since I worked out in a gym.  When I was in high school I used the schools' gym religiously.  If  memory serves, there was really nothing to it.  It was a small, dirty, stinky room covered in greasy fingerprints.  There was a limit to how many of us could be in the room at one time.  I remember one big, multiple exercise machine in the middle of the room and one rack of dumbbells.  Near the orange cooler of room temperature water was a pile of jump ropes and towels that had seen better days. Things have come a long way since the 80's.

My son Trevor works in a Club Fitness as a certified personal trainer.  He knew I wasn't into the gym experience but, kept asking me to come in and check it out.  I had been inside the facility a couple times and was impressed with the layout of machines, how clean the place was, and I liked the music they had on.  Trevor was persistent and I finally caved last week.  Why the hell did I wait so long?

I ride a bike, I like to run, what do I need a gym for, was my mentality.  I have done several boot camps, with 20 others, which I liked, however, this would be my first one-on -one with anyone.  Not just anyone, my son.  I had heard he was very good at working people out, encouraging them, pushing them.  I had no doubts, he is very passionate about what he does.  I made it clear to him that he was not to treat me differently because I was his Mom. At one point he called me "Davis".  I prefer that over " Mother".   Trevor  knows what I am capable of  and I wanted him to put me through the ringer.

He did not disappoint .  My upper body strength is seriously lacking.  It is unfortunate that I have seriously injured both arms, which makes push ups a bit difficult, and basically anything else that requires arms, but I will get through it.  My favorite exercise was the 10 pound sledge hammer beating on the truck tire.  I should have one of those in my backyard.  ( Admit it, there are times it feels real good to beat the crap out of something.   Cheaper than therapy too. ) I have wanted to do a pull up for years.  Trevor introduced  me to a machine that will achieve that goal.  The machine provides a counter weight of your choice as a balance while you do the pull up.  Make sense?  For example, I weigh 147, we set the machine at 80 pounds.  That way I was only lifting 67 pounds in the pull up.  That is my starting point.  With two, one hour sessions a week, I see doing a 'real' pull up soon.

My hour passed quickly and I made my appointments for the next week.  I believe this time with my son is important to both of us.  He is aware of my goals and wants to help me get there.  I can't think of anyone I would rather have to help me.  Together we are an awesome team.